“Sex is a conscious decision”

"Woman darling" and "Mr. sweetheart" Oberotics in long-term relationships

The process of growing adherence is not only to put out problems such as a screaming baby and keeping this because nothing remains abstain, but also involves pleasure, boring assembly without spreading sex to thirst. About how couples, after they have landed in the harbor of marriage or the coupling relationship, the cliffs of everyday use current is the of "Ms. favorite" and "Mr. Schatz" written guide highest mating season – Erotica for parents in everyday life. A conversation with the two journalists, who also run a blog.

Sex, children, work and everyday life: How does that work? Ms. favorite: not at all! We have been married for 18 years, have two children and just can not do it, to let it all go anyway – neither together, nor succession. And that is indeed the Schone and beastly. Children are namely really great news, at least most. And they are also somehow emerged during sex, which may also already do a lot of SPAB. If you have it. And if not for the work and this life were. This creates namely persistent chaos, real everyday chaos. And not losing themselves, in this chaos is not so easy. Because you are constantly changing the roles. From the woman to the mother to the colleague and back. From the man to the father to colleague and back. There are enough moments in which one appeals to the partner with the children’s nickness and notes afterwards: UPS, false role! In all these role games then really to come to the couple level, is not always easy. It gets even more difficult to admit then, especially if you are overbearing.

What do you consider as a long-term pair compared to earlier? Herr Schatz: The desire for sex does not fall from the sky every day, if you are together for years. Sex to have in all the chaos of family, occupation and everyday life is a conscious decision. You meet you – or not. Sunday evening, for example, when the children are in bed: sex or "crime scene"? The very spontaneous desire and the very spontaneous passion are simply no longer so spontaneous. But is not bad, because you can make an appointment for sex. Sometimes even days before, which is even really good, because sometimes you are completely barricaded in the head and since it has to get out of it first. And if you first drape, the anticipation comes, this pre-excitation. That’s wonderful! How important will it take the time to pay attention to external stimuli? Mrs. Darling: Depends on what external charms are. In our book we tell in the chapter "Gross adventure" of what happens when Mrs. Darling and Mr. Schatz stay curious and in their relationship an erotic departure: that can already be a common date in a slightly worn hour hotel. Or a discreet, exciting photo shoot with a really professional photographer. An external appellant often does not have to be so strong at a parent couple: it is sometimes enough, just have time to be outside the reach of the children and outside their own four. If the couple then continues to drive the curiosity, it can be careful, ie in mutual agreement, make themselves on the way, also rediscover their own limits and the common understanding of sex and eroticism. No matter if a Tantra massage is four or on one of these fabulous Night of the masks. The couple therapist Bernhard Moritz, who supplements the short stories in our book by his technical look, says UBRIGENS: "The sexual exclusive contract, which is tacitly self-consumed at the beginning of the relation, is not a promise to be belfored forever and ever in stone, but rather a continuously negotiating the individual developments undergoing the negotiating and coordination process."

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